Difficulties in Working with Clients Who Refuse Collaborative Relationships

Alice Price CPO-CD®, Organize Long Island, Inc.

Sooner or later, it happens to all of us. We encounter a client for whom the clutter is a symptom of a deeper issue. Sometimes, we are lucky and the client voluntarily tells us they are in therapy. Sometimes we ask. Some professional organizers refuse to work with such clients unless they are in therapy. But being in therapy is no guarantee that the therapeutic work that the client is doing will have any effect on the organizing project. Once it is established that the client is in therapy, the professional organizer might give a short explanation of collaborative therapy and ask the client if they would agree to such an arrangement. If the client declines, many professional organizers will continue as long as the client is in therapy. However, it is possible that the client is working with a therapist on a specific issue that the client feels has no connection with the disorganization.

Here we have "the line." We are not therapists, but we come to know our clients and some details of their history. With this knowledge, we start analyzing their decision-making processes and the emotions behind them. And although our analysis may be correct, we cannot vocalize it. We may recognize that their inability to discard items they no longer use is due to extreme deprivation in their childhood, but it is not our job to point this out to them. What we can do, however, is suggest they discuss with their therapist why they can’t seem to throw anything away. When we see the pots and dishes our clients keep buying from HSN and QVC but never unpack, we may recognize that it is not the pots and dishes they want, but a family for whom they can cook. Again, it is not our job to point this out to them. We can encourage them to discuss with their therapist why they are buying things and not using them.

These suggestions may or may not work. The client’s response to these suggestions may be that they are working with the therapist on a different issue, such as depression or anger with their boss. The client does not see the connection.

The Professional Organizer must realize that in most cases the therapist is unaware of the living conditions of the client. The therapist only knows what the client tells them. The therapist may be unaware that due to the amount of clutter, the client cannot prepare food in the kitchen or sleep in the bed. While the professional organizer may suggest that the client discuss with their therapist such things as difficulty in making decisions, shopaholism, degree of clutter and/or lack of functionality in areas of the home, it is the client's choice to do so.